A few months ago I was in the middle of a very sensitive debate about Breastfeeding toddlers, It all stemmed from Time magazine’s "are you mom enough". Sometimes my opinions are just a little too much for people to handle, this I know. Me and my big mouth went onto a (granola bar) page and gave my opinion on a subject I probably should have just shut up about. I have been told by my mother that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Well, I don’t really like that rule. So, I tend to give my opinion when it isn't needed. And this was the perfect example of how friendships can quickly change because of that. I recently cut ties with two of my closest friends when I gave my personal opinion that breast feeding children after the age of 2 is considered child abuse. I went on to share the posting onto my personal facebook page which caused a huge debate and loss of two long time friends; Friends who saw the birth of my child. They felt my opinion was an attack on mothers. Their sister called me violent names to get her point across. Now tell me-How can my opinion send somebody so over the edge, that they would write on my personal wall and say I’d better shut up, and then proceed in calling me rude insulting names? Then the frosting on the cake was that a blog was written and had quoted my words. It shocked me to find out how one person's opinions can cause a riot. I have never felt so exposed before, I felt like a piece of raw carcass on the side of the road that had been eaten away by vultures sitting in the hot sun with flies circling around me.
I look back now, and I do see how it came across as an attack, however, these girls were my "so called friends" SO, you would think that the apology I gave would be enough to end the debate, it would be enough to throw in the towel. It would be enough for your "so called friends" not to attack you the same way they felt I was attacking other mothers. (Not them personally) The blog that was written about me was too disgusting for me to read, I couldn't even finish it. The part that caught my eye the most was the "So-called friend" comment below talking trash about me to the owner of the page. Very sad story that my opinion can change such a tight bond I felt with these people.
I don’t talk to those ladies anymore; they have been deleted, and blocked. It’s a shitty situation, but sometimes people forget that opinion is an opinion. Not an attack. Last time I checked, I live in Canada, a country where women are free to speak their minds, a country where I am allowed to tell people my thoughts and feelings, and its encouraged to do so. IF I was living in another country, I may have been stoned to death for what I wrote, but lucky for me, I don’t!
What I have I learned from this? Well, that my strong opinion on things is enough to cause long friendships to end very quickly. AND I expect more to end in this life time from it. I have learned I am who I am, I was born a person of strong opinions, and it’s a talent I cherish.
My advice to people with the same talent-Speak your mind; don’t be afraid your words will end up in someone’s blog. Don’t be afraid that your opinion doesn't count, don’t be afraid that you will reap the day you spoke up. Stay strong to who you are, make your words count, and make damn sure you believe in what you are saying. True friends will always appreciate your opinions, not attack you when they disagree.
